It was one of those weeks where I am left wondering, “What exactly is happening right now?”
Wednesday, I participated in a prayer session receiving healing and recognizing burdens I carried were not mine at all. It is only through Jesus I was able to let the baggage down, so I could live a healthier life.
Thursday, I watched the Lord heal a man’s lower back and shoulder. Ligaments and out of socket joints were made whole again. As a proclamation, he was able to do a pushup with ease. A beautiful display to see the Kingdom of God come down.
At 1:00am on Friday, I woke up covered in hives from my neck down to my toes and a struggle to get full breathes of air. My initial thought is, “I cannot believe this is happening again.” The drive to the emergency room was long as I chatted to a cousin on the west coast receiving reassurance that it will work out. The doctor could not be sure of the cause and ruled out the poison ivy. I left the hospital at 7:00am after a dose of Benadryl and a steroid was given through an IV. With a promise of the liquid steroid should last through the next 72 hours.
I completed three loads of laundry with new detergent hoping to find the root cause. I laid my head to rest again as the hives seemed to have subsided. Yet, still I woke up on Saturday at 6:30am to a new breakout of hives with difficulty breathing. As a result, I made another visit to the emergency room. I received more Benadryl and an additional steroid pushed into my blood stream through an IV. I left with two scripts, one for Prednisone and another for an Epipen. I was also taking Benadryl and using anti-itch creme to soothe the itching. The hives subsided to almost nothing that evening.
On Sunday, I rolled over to read 3:00am on the alarm clock. I turned on the light to see my arms and legs were covered with hives once again. I could only shake my head wondering why this was happening. My airways were clear, so I laid wide awake reminding myself not to itch until I fell asleep four hours later.
The off and on case of the hives reminded me of June 2009 when I was rushed to the hospital in Costa Rica. The inability to breath, losing feeling in my extremities, the hives breakout ending a medication overdose somehow. Why did my mind go back there so quickly? I cannot be sure. It could be the similar triggers or the uncertainty of the physical cause.
Yet, in my prayers, I am reminded of who is the protecter in all of this? Who is the healer in the midst of uncertainty? Yes, it is Jesus. In 2009, it was Jesus’ miracle as I flew away from Costa Rica with no internal organ problems. Today, in 2015, it is Jesus as I continue to breath in each breathe.
The difference today versus back then is the new application of claiming Jesus as a protector and not a tyrant trying to punish humanity. A skewed, false view of Jesus can cause more suffering in the long run. Bitterness and rebellion settle in to displace Jesus as the foundation of my life. It was not a place I was willing to return to.
And so today, it is the relearning of Jesus as protector. It isn’t a lesson I necessarily wanted to relearn, yet maybe it was necessary. A strange confidence in the Lord as the one who breathes life into our lungs in order to sing His Praise.