To the Christian Church:
I am one of the most critical members of your Body. It is with laziness that I sometimes sit to criticize the strides others try to make. A deep chuckle is asserted as the new ones try to stretch their gifts and fall in defeat. With crossed arms, I have mocked with the bitter others watching outsiders throw stones at you so freely. I argued with myself that we deserved it anyways. I somehow forgotten that my need for complete worldly relevance made me almost obsolete in sharing or showing Christ’s love and peace. Maybe, just maybe someone heard His name to ask who He was later.
In stubbornness, I often complained of the lack of hospitality when I am the one pushing any type of warmth away. A martial status or not does not constitute a reasoning to hide away despite the American self-sufficient homes even I have come to create.
The expectation I placed on you to be perfect was in return an expectation I placed on myself too. A perfection never to be fully achieved in this lifetime. As a result, we keep failing each other and I was the one to let a wall to be placed in between us. To that, I am sorry.
I could hear on the other side of the great things you have been doing. The physical, emotional and, more importantly, the spiritual healings taking place. It is jealousy I wallowed in questioning whether or not I could be a part of the Kingdom Come actions the true Church is doing. You never asked me to be perfect because you yourself are not. You asked me because Jesus asks of me to just come and be a part. As a Church, we are to learn together and take great strides to be like our King Jesus – the perfect one.
I apologize for being a part of the problem. A person who slowed you down because of my hidden self-doubt and insecurities. I would like to become a Barnabas the encourager, the first century Church who knew how to heal the sick, blind and deaf, and like Paul or Peter, who ran across the regions to share about the King.
This is my proclamation.
A Stubborn One