Why are some people kept around? How is it possible some people go through what should be a certain death and come out with no injuries? Still others never make it? The physical life makes little rational sense. How can this be explained and coupled with some idea Jesus has mercy on everyone? To be honest, it seems some people are never given a chance to even make it. Every playing card they draw is a Joker laughing at the next hardship they must endure. Does He give mercy equally?
These questions swirl in my head on a constant basis. Simple or complex theological answers have never cut it for me. Will pain ever truly be understood?
It was during a prayer time that I was wrestling with these emotions. Flashbacks from my overdose quickly started.
The van continued to speed in and out of the Costa Rican narrow roads. Heartbeats could be heard from outside of the van. The heart pounding continued to shake my body then come to a halt as I was held by my roommate. The passenger seat swiftly became an aerial view of the spiritual world overhead. Swords were slashing as angels and demons were fighting over the earth’s dominion. What was the fight for? Exhaustion could be felt from the battlefield’s tension.
The buildup continued as the momentum of the fight carried on. A rumbling could be heard as if an army was approaching to rescue one of the teams. Who would win? A roar was released as a lion raged through the middle of the battleground. Within moments, the lion shrunk in size as it moved its way into my very veins. The lion opened its mouth along the vein’s inner path as the pills, initially swallowed by me, were now placed on the lion’s tongue. As quickly as the lion entered is as quickly as the lion exited. The pills were projected into the distance from the lion’s mouth. A resounding roar was released as the lion continued onto into the spiritual battlefield. Maybe it was me that needed to be saved.
The vision was left as such. A rescue from a lion. An overdose, a suicide attempt is a spiritual matter as much as physical one. A release from the hospital a week later. Mentally scarred, but physically intact. A mystery that I could not explain for years.
The pills that the lion took in was the rescue that I needed.
I am not sure why I was left undamaged and other people don’t make it. The doctor said, “It was the perfect combination.” Yet, a perfect combination does not work when the combination was never released into a body’s bloodstream. It was pure grace and mercy shown that evening many years ago.
Pain won’t ever make sense. But for those who were rescued just remember there is a purpose to live. You aren’t here for no particular reason. You have a purpose. This is how the Kingdom comes.
We all need to be rescued.